Tuesday, January 27, 2009

FROM MARIA AIMEE YUSI SANTOS-LYONS...

let me tell you something...sometimes, we just get it right.

i realize that the oft repeated description of this phenomenon is that
change has come to america. but when i sit still and reflect on how
this moment feels
to me, it feels instead as an america coming
to....its senses? its possibilities? its own humility? its restored
humanity?

let me backtrack a bit.

having lived here for nine years now, and through my work having had
many diverse conversations with a range of ordinary americans, i get
the sense that there has always been a growing understanding that the
USA has not been living up to its ideals (aka rhetoric of itself).
american bluster through a series of humiliating events has been
slowly dwindling into confusion...disorientation...a scramble for
renewal and restoration. to finally push through with its long delayed
and unfinished project for racial justice. to weave together its
multiple strands for social justice. to finally make itself coherent
by matching its actions with its words. for generation joshua to shed
its ancestral prejudices and re-write the scripts and scriptures of
our
century.

having been laid low, and losing its perch, america has been stripped
of its pretensions and its ambitions. the fundamentals of how it saw
itself, and of how it projected itself onto the global map, have been
proven to be bloated, overreaching and simply untenable...that it was
the convergence and ascendancy of all things arrogant, cruel and
indifferent in america. perhaps inevitably, what happened next was a
come-to-jesus moment, when ordinary americans realized they had
abdicated their power for far too long. that it was time. to live up
to their shared values, to reclaim the control and governance of their
lives, to do right what had been such a long and complicated history
of racism and oppression. that is, to elect
barack obama not because
he was black, but to refuse to allow their discomfort with his
black-ness and other-ness from realizing that he had the best
credentials for the job, which
as well included his racialized
personal history.

sa madaling salita, ito nga ang EDSA ng
amerika.

a singular moment where the citizenry rose to its feet, stopped the
piped in pied piper music and began to think and act for themselves.
and instead of having the assassination of a national martyr be its
awakening point, they saw instead an opportunity to build a hero.
sarili nila.

finally, they have breathed life into all the slogans and poetry that
they invoke at their rallies - we are the change we are waiting for.
be the change that you see in the world. i'm going to start with the
man in the mirror ....i see in this moment ordinary folk understanding
their extraordinary ability to be engaged, to voice dissent, to see
amongst themselves a shared struggle and a shared humanity.

it is easy i know to mythologize this moment, to get carried away and
allow the euphoria to deplete our
hypercynicism below healthy levels.
but so be it. i am giving myself permission to celebrate. to weep. to
be inspired. to be intimidated. to be humbled. to be dazed. to not
have to comprehend the true profundity of this moment. and above all,
to fall in love with america.
yes, a colonial master. yes, a continuing aggressor and capitalizing
colluding implerialist.but also now a people lost searching for
equilibrium. for the sake of my family, my neighborhood, my friends
and community, for my home country and the world which is increasingly
home to friends not strangers, whatever talent and skills i have,
doesn't it now make sense to offer them in service of this new vision?
this new era? in my time here truth be told, i have benefited from the
generosity of conscientious americans, as they have from my friendship
with them. they have broadened my insight, they have held me up when
my knees buckled, they stood by
me when i've been questioned, they
have supported my dreams when i imagined i had a farther reach than i
was born with. they lit candles both when it was my darkest night and
when i was aglow with new love. i must and do allege both faith
solidarity and support to these new friends. and it brings me to tears
that these new friends, and now my family have the leader they
deserve. one who reflects their generosity. one who affirms their
whole selves. one who has their grace, their love for their small
towns and their love affair with the wide wide world. how is this
possible...that one man could embody such disparate affections and
understandings. "that power emanates from the justness of their cause,
the force of their example and the tempering qualities of their
humility..." totoo ba to? tama bang narinig ko? nanggaling ba to sa
isang amerikanong presidente? justice and humility in the same
sentence?

if
only for having raised the standards of the
White House, am I
pledging loyalty and offering to work for Obama. y'know barack will
need friends. very soon he will disappoint someone somewhere. he
already has. it will be a testament to his character how steadfast and
committed to his vision he can be, under duress under pressure under
criticism. he will need not only vast amounts of goodwill but
similarly, folks with constancy. people who may disagree with him but
people who won't walk away knowing that disengagement would be
conceding the ground to haters. and i am feeling very protective of
this sacred ground we are now treading and these small tentative
steps.

aaayy and let me tell you about that day...

barack nailed it when he said this was the winter that would test
us....granted he was talking about the economy but it felt like the
right wing forces had mustered their last ounce of evil magic to
keep
everyone from going: from the bone-penetrating cold that dissuaded the
other 2 million who would have joined us, the metro accident the
stopped the trains in their tracks to the long lines that tested
people's patience, and the barricades at every turn. yet no matter
what barrier they put in front of us, the crowd surged forth, with
faith and perseverance singing and laughing believing at the next
corner they would get in to the promised land. by the third hour, 10
minutes away to the start of the inauguration, joseph wanted to give
up and find a warm cafe to watch the ceremony. buti na lang pinoy ako.
ano ba naman ang isa pang kilometrong layo? kahit nababaog na kami sa
bigat ng mga bata sa likod namin, sugod pa rin. the eternal ususero,
hindi ako nadismaya at hindi ako nagpabali. and indeed, when we
turned the corner there it was, the
washington monument, majestic and
gleaming on this bitter january day,
a throng of people greeting us
with their cheers. and on cue, Diane Fienstein begins the
inauguration.

it took my breath away. stuck somewhere between my head and my heart,
between my imagination and that place where life turns a corner,
between an individual solitary experience and a truly massive
collective zeitgeist-shifting ego-altering experience...the sights to
behold were too many i felt my heart was going to burst: miyka running
around with the other children
born to this moment of an america with an african-american president,
Gabriel climbing a tree to get a better look and taking pictures of
the throng, ordinary americans filling in bright yellow posters saying
Mr. President I hope for......, everyone taking pictures of each other
with their bright yellow posters, dazzling smiles on strangers' faces,
the sea of people parting to reveal carina and her family....a country
and her citizens for one
singular moment looking in the same
direction, clasping the same prayer in their hearts, wishing well of
each other and understanding that their individual fates/ faiths are
interdependent.

i did not resent the 2 hour trek on foot to carina's sister's house.
the warmth of the gathering thawed the chill from the streets, the
feast toti prepared fed the body that was running on euphoria, the
children's laughter and the grown-up conversation decorated and
animated the night.

and as i went to sleep early the next morning, for the first time in
ever so long, there was no rage in me. there was no fear, there was no
uncertainty. worms of anxiety transformed into winged excitement. some
people call it hope.